Thursday, 27 October 2022

Beckham and the Brits Bid Farewell to Queen Elizabeth | The Daily Show

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Gjp_DodXT-g


GLOBE OF COMPUTER GAME. OVER THE WEEKEND A HACKER LEAKED INCOMPLETE FOOTAGE FROM THE GRAND BURGLARY VEHICLE VIDEO GAME AND THEY THREATENED TO RELEASE EVEN MORE IF ROCK STAR GAMES DOESN'' T REACH A BARGAIN WITH THEM. YEP. AND ALSO YOU KNOW ROCK STAR THE VIDEO GAME MANUFACTURER, THEY MUST BE SO PISS THE. HOW DO THESE KIDS OBTAIN THE SUGGESTION THAT IT'' S FUN TO COMMIT CRIMES, HUH? NOW LUCKILY REGULATION ENFORCEMENT HAS ACTUALLY STATED THEY HAD A LEAD ON A CRIMINAL BUT HE CONCEALED IN A CARWASH FOR LIKE A MIN AND THEY HAVE FORE GOTEN ABOUT THE ENTIRE CASE. IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS, GAUTAM A DAMI AN INDIAN BUSINESS PERSON WHO MADE HIS FORTUNE IN DELIVERY AN COAL PRUKS PASSED JEFF BEZOS TO BECOME THE WORLD'' S SECOND RICHEST

PERSON.POOR JEFF BEZOS, WHEN HE HEARD THIS HIS SPACESHIP PROMPTLY WENT LIMP. I SEE A FEW OF YOU CHEERING LIKE YEAH, INDIAN INDIVIDUAL, NUMBER 2 ON THE LISTING. DON'' T FORGET, DON ' T NEGLECT OF COURSE, IT IS GREAT NEWS FOR HIM BUT MR. ADANI ' S MOMS AND DADS ARE INDIAN SO THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL LIKE, YOU RECOGNIZE, I WANTED YOU WENT TO MEDICAL SCHOOL. A BILLIONAIRE IS COOL, BUT YOU RECOGNIZE WHAT IS COOLER, BEING A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. OH, AN AN UPDATE ON COVID-19, IN AN MEETING YESTERDAY, HEAD OF STATE BIDEN STATED WHILE WE STILL HAVE An ISSUE WITH THE INFECTION, QUOTE, THE PANDEMIC IS OVER. INDEED. YEAH. BUT I OBTAIN WHY BIDEN STATED THIS. I SUGGEST HE JUST HAD COVID. EVERYONE WHO GETS COVID MORES THAN COVID, EVERYONE, AS SOON AS THEY ARE DONE, ALL RIGHT, IT'' S DONE FOR EVERYONE, LET'' S BEGINNING THIS PARTY. BEGIN BREATHING IN EACH OTHER'' S MOUTH. BUT LET'' S REACH THE BIG TALE EVERYBODY IS SPEAKING ABOUT. 2 WEEKS AGO AS YOU ALL KNOW, QUEEN ELIZABETH PASSED AWAY OF BEING OLD AND ALSO IT HAS BEEN A WILD TWO WEEKS CONSIDERING THAT, RIGHT? GREAT DEALS OF HEATED DISPUTES FROM ALL SIDES.SHE WAS AN SYMBOL.

SHE WAS A DICTATOR. PRESERVE THE MONARCHY. REMOVE THE MONARCHY. WE HATE CHARLES. WE ALSO HATE CHARLES. BUT TODAY, TODAY BRITAIN STATED HI THERE, LET'' S SUPPRESS OUR FEELINGS CUSTOMARILY BECAUSE IT IS THE QUEEN'' S FUNERAL. AS WELL AS THEY DID IT IN A MAJOR WAY SO LET'' S CATCH UP ON THE U.K.'' S BIG DAY IN OUR LATEST INSTALLATION OF THE IMPERIAL RUMBLE. TODAY QUEEN ELIZABETH WAS LAID TO REMAINDER AT ONE OF HER FAVORITE CASTLES BUT BEFORE SHE WAS BURIED THE GENERAL PUBLIC WAS GIVEN A POSSIBILITY TO SEE HER CASKET AND PAY THEIR RESPECTS. >> > > OVERNIGHT THAT INCREDIBLE LINE OF MOURNERS SNAKING VIA STRALT LONDON, THOUSANDS PATIENTLY WAITING TO PAY THEIR ASPECTS TO BRITAIN'' S LONGEST REIGNING QUEEN.

>> > > TENS OF THOUSANDS FROM AROUND THE GLOBE WAIT ON HRS TO SEE THE QUEEN'' S CASKET. >> > WITH LINES CURRENTLY STRETCHING 5 MILES TO SEE HER LYING IN STATE, THEY'' RE PREDICT THE WAIT TORNLT, AN INCREDIBLE 22 HOURS. >> > > BEEN WAITING FOR 10 HRS. >> > > BEEN UP BECAUSE 4:00 THIS MORNING. >> > > SEEN FOOTBALL CELEBRITY DAVID BECKHAM LINING UP OVERNIGHT FOR 13 HOURS. >> > > I BELIEVE IT WAS A REMINDER OF JUST HOW MUCH INDIVIDUALS IN THIS NATION REALLY LIKE TO ALIGN. IT ACTUALLY IS A NATIONALS PASTTIME.BRITISH PEOPLE ENJOY QUEUING AS THEY SAY IN THIS NATION. (GIGGLING). > > Trevor: AN >> INTERESTING ELIMINATE. WHY ARE THESE PEOPLE, THEY JUST LIKE LINING UP. THAT'' S ANOTHER THING, NO, NO, THEY SIMPLY REALLY LIKE LINING UP. I BELIEVE THEY ALSO LIKE THE QUEEN. BUT THIS IS REAL, APPARENTLY STANDING IN LINE IS REALLY POPULAR IN BRITAIN. LIKE THEIR NATIONAL PASTTIME. AS WELL AS PRIOR TO YOU MAKE FUN OF THEM, FOR DOING SOMETHING SO BORING, DON'' T NEGLECT AMERICA ' S NATIONAL PASTTIME IS BASEBALL, YOU UNDERSTAND, WHICH S WHEN INDIVIDUALS ACT AS IF SOMEBODY PASSED AWAY BUT THEY DIDN'' T. BUT 22 HOURS IN LINE, THAT IS SERIOUSLY. 22 HOURS. CUZ REMEMBER, THERE IS NO APPLE IPHONE AT THE END OF THAT LINE, RIGHT STRKS JUST A BOX AND YOU DON'' T EVEN GET TO OPEN THE BOX.AND AS YOU LISTENED TO, EVEN DAVID BECKHAM WAITED IN LINE. WHICH HONESTLY I DISCOVER SO IMPRESSIVE. SINCE APPARENTLY HE WAS OFFERED An OPPORTUNITY TO AVOID THE LINES UP AND HE DECLINED WHICH IS REALLY ADMIRABLE. I SUGGEST ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT YOU DON'' T KNOW WHO YOU ARE MOST LIKELY TO BE STUCK BECAUSE LINE WITH, YOU KNOW WHAT I IMPLY, BECAUSE AT THE STARTING YOU MAY BE LIKE I'' M JUST GOING TO STAND IN THE LINE, AS WELL AS NEXT POINT YOU RECOGNIZE THERE IS AN TOOLBOX FAN BEHIND HIM, YOU ARE SPUNK THIS SEE BE SO, NARS ALL, COLLECTION, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, I MISS HER SO MUCH.ARSENAL! BUT AFTER

DAYS OF QUEUING, TODAY WAS FINALLY THE QUEEN ' S FUNERAL. AND ALSO ESSENTIALLY THE ENTIRE NATION CLOSE DOWN FOR THIS THING. YOU ' VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.'INSTITUTIONS AND BUSINESSES WERE CLOSED. I INDICATE THAT ' S A REALLY GREAT MEANS TO HONOR A PERSON WHO ALSO NEVER HAD TO FUNCTION BUT IT WAS INTENSE, ALSO A LITTLE INCONVENIENT FOR PEOPLE, FLIGHTS WERE CANCELLED TO AVOID THE NOISE. MEDICAL FACILITIES ALSO POSTPONED SURGICAL TREATMENT, AS WELL AS YEAH, IF YOU WERE EXPECTED TO GET A SURGICAL PROCEDURE ON A PLANE, NEGLECT T THAT DEFINITELY WASN'' T HAPPENING. BUT ALSO FOR REAL, I THINK IT IS ACTUALLY GOOD THAT THEY HELD OFF REGULAR SURGERY BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THE U.K. IS DISTRACTED TODAY. YOU RECOGNIZE, KIND OF PHYSICIANS COMING DESCRIBING I'' M DELIGHTED TO SAY THE BOTTOM LIFT WAS A SUCCESS.


>> > > BUT I NEEDED A HIP REPLACEMENT. >> > > AS WELL AS I NEED A NEW QUEEN BUT YOU DON'' T LISTEN TO ME COMPLAINING. CURRENTLY JUMP ON OUT OF HERE WITH THAT SAID FAT BUTT, LADY, GO ON. TREMBLE IT, JUST DRINK IT. SO OBVIOUSLY THIS WAS A HUGE OFFER. AND BY THE METHOD, NOT JUST FOR THE BRITS. LEADERS FROM THROUGHOUT THE WORLD FLEW IN TO BE A PART OF THIS FUNERAL SERVICE. CURRENTLY WHAT WAS A LITTLE UNUSUAL IS THAT HEAD OF STATE BIDEN ARRIVED IN A 6 VEHICLE MOTORCADE, AT THE SAME TIME, LEADERS FROM A LOT OF OTHER COUNTRIES NEEDED TO SHARE BUSES.WHICH I INDICATE THAT MUST HAVE DREW. LIKE THE ENTIRE POINT OF ENDING UP BEING A GLOBE LEADER IS THAT YOU PUT ON ' T EVER NEED TO RIDE A BUSES ANY'EVEN MORE. ENVISION YOU ARE THE EMMERRER OF JAPAN AND ALSO YOU NEED TO PRETEND YOU DON ' T HEAR JUSTIN TRUDEAU'SHITTING IN THE BUS WASHROOM. AND ALSO OBVIOUSLY SOME PEOPLE ARE MAD THAT BIDEN OBTAINED SPECIAL THERAPY. BUT IF YOU ASK ME I ASSUME THE OTHER GLOBE LEADERS ARE THE ONES WHO BENEFITED. YOU CAN VISUALIZE BEING STUCK ON A BUS WITH JOE BIDEN. WITH JOE BIDEN. THE CONVERSATION WOULD NEVER END. IT IS HIM LIKE SO-- CORN POP, I STATED LISTEN, JACK, I REMAINED IN-- I TOOK HIS HAND-- YOU RELOCATING TO ANOTHER PERSON CITY, COME ON, GUY, COME ON. LISTEN. AND ALSO WORLD LEADERS WEREN'' T THE ONLY ONES IN ATTENDANCE, NO, THE QUEEN ' S CORGIS WERE THERE TOO. THIS IS REALLY DESSERT. YEP, THEY REACHED PAY THEIR LAST AREAS, SEE THE QUEEN ONE EVEN MORE TIME.AND THEN I


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PRESUME FOLLOW THE LITTLE TRAIL OF PET DOG DEALS WITH RIGHT INTO THE BURIAL PLACE. REALLY ADORABLE. THAT IS HOW THE EGYPTIANS DID IT. I'' M THINKING THE ENGLISH COINCIDE. IT IS ALSO LIKE WHY WOULD YOU BRING THE PET DOGS, WHY ARE YOU FOR TURING THEM? WERE THE PETS SIT STAYING UP, CANISTER WE GET A REWARD. I'' LL SHOW YOU WHY THERE IS NO EVEN MORE TREATS. WHEN THE FUNERAL MORED THAN THE QUEEN'' S CASS KELT WAS DRIVEN TO WINDSOR CASS TOLL GIVE HER ONE LAST POSSIBILITY TO EXPERIENCE LONDON WEB TRAFFIC AND EVERYONE MADE IT MATTER. WE ARE WATCHING THE ROYAL PROCESSION OF QUEEN ELIZABETH'' S COFFIN. JOYS INCREASING FROM THE CROWD, A GROUP THAT HAS BEEN QUIET AS WELL AS SOMBER THROUGHOUT MOST. MORNING. BUT NOW CHEERS AS THE QUEEN'' S COFFIN GOES BY, FLOWERS BEING THRONE FROM THE GROUP TOWARD THE QUEEN'' S CASKET. >> > THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE COMPONENT OF THE FUNERAL SERVICE. NO, IT GENUINELY IS. THERE IS A MOMENT WHERE EVERYBODY IS SAD BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GOFNLT AND AFTERWARDS THERE IS THE MOMENT WHERE YOU CELEBRATE THEIR LIFE.I LOVE THIS MINUTE, OH,-- IT IS ADDITIONALLY UNUSUAL THEY WERE THROWING THE-- TOSSING THE FLOWERS ON THE CAR'' S WINDSCREEN WHILE THE GUY IS DRIVING. A BIT RISKY. THE PERSON IS GOING TO WIND UP JUST PLOWING INTO THE CROWD. OH, SIMPLY PUT THOSE IN THE BACK WITH THE QUEEN, LET'' S GO, LET ' S GO, GOT TO KEEP MOVING >>, GOT TO KEEP MOVING. > > BUT IN ADDITION TO ALL THE FLOWERS AS WELL AS PANTIESING BEING THROWN AT THE CASK, IT WAS An ATTRACTIVE PROSESMGHTS ALL THE KING'' S STEEDS, ALL THE KINGS MALES, BASICALLY EVERY PERSON WHO COULDN'' T SAVE HUMPTY DUMPTY, THEY WERE THERE.AND IT WAS A THREE MILE MARCH FROM WESTMINSTER ABBEY TO WINDSOR CASTLE. ALSO KNOWN AS THE LONG STROLL, YEAH. OR AS KILEY JENNER CALLS IT, WHY DIDN'' T THEY TAKE THE JET. SO IT WAS A LONG TRIP TO WINDSOR CASTLE BUT IT WAS WELL WORTH THE WAIT. DUE TO THE FACT THAT THE CEREMONY, THE EVENT OFFICIALLY LAYING HER GRANDEUR TO REST WAS NOT TO BE MISSED. >> > > ONE OF THE MOST INTIMATE, MOVING MINUTE WAS WHEN THE CROWN JEWELRY EXPERT REMOVED THE INSTRUMENTS OF STATE, THAT IS THE CROWN, THE ORB AS WELL AS THE SEPTEMBERER, GOTTEN RID OF THEM FROM THE QUEEN'' S CASKET AND ALSO PLACED THEM ON THE ALTAR. AS WELL AS AFTER THAT THE HEAD OF THE QUEEN'' S FAMILY BROKE HIS STICKS OF OFFICE AND AFTERWARDS PUT THAT ON THE QUEEN'' S COFFIN.THAT ESSENTIALLY SIGNALS, WE ' RE TOLD, THAT THIS QUEEN ' S POWER MORES THAN. THE CASKET AFTER THAT REDUCED INTO THE VAULT. THERE ARE TEN OTHER MAJESTIES BURIED THERE AT ST. GEORGE'' S CHAPEL AS WELL >>. > > Trevor: WAY, AS THE GLOBE VIEWED ON QUEEN ELIZABETH second, THE U.K.'' S LONGEST REIGNING MAJESTY WAS LOWERED RIGHT INTO THE FAMILY MEMBERS SAFE. AND WHETHER YOU ARE FOR OR VERSUS THE MONARCHY, YOU TIN NOT DENY, THIS SAY LANDMARK MINUTE IN HISTORY. THEY BROKE THE WAND AND ALSO IT IS AUTHORITIES. I WILL CERTAINLY STATE YES, IT IS SINCE I READ TOOCH HARRY POTTER, THIS THING COULD HAVE SIMPLY AS EASILY BEEN PART OF A WIZARD CEREMONY, YOU KNOW. LIKE A GUY IN A CAPE HOLDING AN ORB, SNAPPING A STICK. INCIDENTALLY, WHY IS THE WAND ACQUIRING HID WITH HER MAJESTY BUT NOTHING ELSE. I FEEL LIKE IT IS SORT OF A LETDOWN, RIGHT? DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY COULD BURY HER WITH THE CROWN AND ALSO THE ORB, LIKE NO, NO, WE'' LL HOLD ON TO THESE, YEAH, YOU CAN BE BURIED WITH THIS BROKEN POOL HINT, THERE YOU GO.TA TA. THAT IT IS IT FOR THE HEADINGS BUT BEFORE WE GO LET'' S CHECK IN ON THE SECURITIES MARKET WITH OUR FINANCE PROFESSIONAL MICHAEL KOSTA, EVERYBODY. (JOYS AND ALSO APPLAUSE) MICHAEL, A GREAT DEAL OF CASH MOVING, A GREAT DEAL OF THINGS CHANGING. WHAT'' S TAKING PLACE ON THE MARKET TODAY. >> > > BEFORE WE ENTER THE MARKETPLACE, I JUST WISHED TO SAY MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH THE QUEEN. AND ALSO I HOPE THAT LEGISLATION ENFORCEMENT FINDS HER KILLER, OKAY. SO THERE WAS NO. >> > > TODAY IS A DAY IN WHICH WE ASSESS THE QUEEN'' S LIFE. WE REFLECT AS WELL AS ASSESS OUR OWN LIVES, YOU RECOGNIZE, I TOOK THE WEEKEND BREAK TO CONSIDER THE DIRECTION OF MY LIFE AS WELL AS WHICH METHOD IT'' S GOING.AND TREVOR, I HAVE TO SAY, HONESTLY, NOW EVEN MORE THAN EVER I'' M DEFINITELY SQUASHING IT, O.K.. I'' M CRUSHING IT EVEN HARDER NOW BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE QUEEN WOULD HAVE DESIRED, OKAY. SO I HAVE GOT A WARM TIP NOR YOU AND ALSO I HAVE A WARM POINTER TOO SO TAKE NOTE, OR AS THEY SAY IN ENGLAND, A BOILING GUIDELINE. >> > > Trevor: WHAT? >> > > BEHIND ME THIS IS THE GLOBE BILLIONAIRE INDEX. THESE ARE THE 5 RICHEST PEOPLE WORLDWIDE OTHERWISE CALLED BERN QUEE SANDER' ' WANT LIST. BUT, BUT, BEFORE WE DO THIS, BIDEN SAYING THAT THE PANDEMIC MORES THAN, THAT'' S FANTASTIC. I ENJOY THAT. BUT I'' M STILL GOING TO MAINTAIN SPLASHING FRUIT AND ALSO VEGGIES WITH LYSOL, OKAY.BECAUSE HAVE I


BECOME ACCUSTOMED TO THE TASTE, TO BE SINCERE WITH YOU, OR WHATEVER PREFERENCE I HAVE LEFT. TO BE HONEST, EVERY LITTLE THING TASTES LIKE STEEL AT THIS MOMENT. BUT HERE IS WHAT I INTEND TO SPEAK ABOUT. THIS ADANI PERSON, WHERE IS HE, RIGHT THERE, ALL RIGHT. THIS IS THE POINT WHERE HE SURPASSED JEFF BEZOS BECOMING THE SECONDLY RICHEST MALE IN THE WORLD. HOW DID HE DO IT? O.K.. WHICH ONE IS ADANI, O.K., HOW DID HE DO IT? RIGHT HERE, THIS IS WHERE HE STARTED MAKING COFFEE IN YOUR HOME AS WELL AS QUIT ACQUIRING IT EN ROUTE TO FUNCTION. BOOM. HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. THINK ABOUT THAT IN YOUR OWN LIFE. THE NUMBER ONE SPOT IS STILL ELON MUSK, OKAY. YOU UNDERSTAND ELON SIMPLY KIND OF, RIGHT HERE, HE SIMPLY KIND OF STARTED OUT AS A NORMAL RICH INDIVIDUAL AND AFTER THAT HE RECOGNIZED AROUND TO 20 THAT HE CANISTER BE SO ANNOYING, O.K., TWEET, MEMES, TALKING ABOUT KRICHTO.AND ASSUMPTION WHAT, THAT BUSINESS TECHNIQUE FUNCTIONED. AND CONSIDER HIM, THE EVEN MORE ANNOYING HE IS, THE MORE HIS WORTH INCREASES. CURRENTLY ON THE FLIP SIDE, TREVOR, COSTS GATES, I INDICATE GEEZ, RIGHT? ALL THE MEANS TO NUMBER 5. ONLY A HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS. WHAT A LOSER. YOU RECOGNIZE? I INDICATE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I BLAME ACTUALLY, MY MOM. SHE IS STILL OPERATING WINDOWS 95, OKAY. TAKES HER 10 MINUTES TO OPEN JEWELRY, NOW. BROAD VIEW, I KNOW WHAT A FEW OF YOU ARE THINKING, HEY COSTA, YOU CRUSH IT SO HARD, THANK YOU.WHY AREN


' T YOU ON THIS LISTING. WELL, APPEARANCE, I'' M A MALE FEMINIST, ALL RIGHT. THE REASON-- WHY IS THAT FUNNY? APPEARANCE, I AM A MALE FEMINIST. THE FACTOR YOU DON'' T SEE ME OP THIS LIST,'I PUT ON ' T WANT TO GET ON ANY LISTING THAT DOESN'' T INCLUDE ANY WOMEN. LET'' S BE HONEST. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. THERE OUGHT TO BE A LADY ON THIS LISTING. O.K.? ESPECIALLY A HOT BLOND CHICK WITH BIG BOOBS, YOU RECOGNIZE WHAT I AM CLAIMING. ALL RIGHT, I ASSURE YOU A BOILING REMINDER, AKA A HOT IDEA. YOU SEE THIS CHART, YOU SEE ARNAL, NO PERSON KNOW WHO'' S THE HECK THAT INDIVIDUAL IS. SO YOU CAN BE HIM, LEGALLY ADJUSTMENT YOUR NAME SO ARNAL.I JUST GAVE YOU-- 150 BILLION, YOU ' RE WELCOME, EVERYBODY, THANK. DON'' T FORGET, DON ' T NEGLECT INDEED, IT IS GOOD INFORMATION FOR HIM BUT MR. ADANI ' S MOMS AND DADS ARE INDIAN SO THEY ARE PROBABLY STILL LIKE, YOU RECOGNIZE, I WANTED YOU WENT TO MEDICAL COLLEGE. AND ALSO GLOBE LEADERS WEREN'' T THE ONLY ONES IN PARTICIPATION, NO, THE QUEEN ' S CORGIS WERE THERE TOO. I'' M THINKING THE ENGLISH ARE THE SAME. AND ALSO AFTER THAT THE HEAD OF THE QUEEN'' S HOUSE DAMAGED HIS STICKS OF WORKPLACE AND ALSO THEN PUT THAT ON THE QUEEN'' S COFFIN.THAT ESSENTIALLY SIGNALS, WE ' RE TOLD, THAT THIS QUEEN ' S REIGN IS OVER. LET'' S BE HONEST.

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